A humble kernel.

It's been over a month since Rick has been in the hospital, had brain surgery and has been home to recover. It's been a few weeks since all six of us have been home together, living side by side in our small two bedroom apartment. Tomorrow will mark the end of our second week of homeschooling an eighth grader and kindergartner with a two year old and six month old in tow. Last week was rough, to state it simply. Rough and trying. This week has been better and today, the best day so far. We didn't just survive today, we lived. All thanks to the humble kernel. Today we made stove top popcorn and it elevated the day in a way I could have never foreseen.

Afternoon came and finally Westley, our almost two and a half year old fell asleep for his nap. I told Natalie to begin reading her second chapter of Winston Churchill's The New World since the home was drastically quieter. As tired as my mind and body already was, I took Finn and Rowan into the second bedroom to nurse the latter to sleep and hang out with Finn. Honestly speaking , while we quietly played with linking toys, I really just wanted to close my eyes and drift to sweet sleep myself. Rowan successfully fell asleep and I realized Finn was having too much fun wanting to laugh and play. I gathered my energies up and said, "Buddy, let me look something up." I went on Pinterest to find just the right recipe to make popcorn on the stove.

Last week I had started Finn on The Playful Pioneers, a literature and projects based curriculum with daily readings from the Little House on the Prairie books. A project for last week was actually to make homemade popcorn (something I've been meaning to do for some time) but we just couldn't manage it last week. That's because it was meant for today, to bring life and delight to us. 

 

We brought over his chair to the counter next to the stove. We went over some rules and we brought out our ingredients and measuring tools. He measured the kernels, cut the butter and poured the oil into a bowl. I turned on our electric stove, made sure the burner was heating up, had him pour the oil into our Dutch oven, and placed four corn kernels in that he counted out for me. We covered the lid and eagerly waited to hear them 'pop' to let us know the oil was ready. We waited. And we waited. We joked, we played, along with Nat who was doing work on the kitchen table. Yet, the kernels never popped. I thought maybe it was the stove, being electric and all. Eventually after quite some time Finn saw that the back burner was actually red! Whoops! I thought for sure I started the right one. I even kept putting the heat higher and higher and for sure felt the heat on without touching the pot! Oh dear, we all had a good laugh at that. 

I put the pot on the right burner and we fell silent waiting to hear those kernels pop and they did! Wes had gotten up from his nap by now (preceded by Rowan who was being held by Nat) and the process began. We all squealed with delight as we poured in the remaining kernels, hearing them sizzle and burst. Through the not completely put on lid, we could see them popping and jumping inside. When it was time, I poured the hot and freshly popped corn into a bowl and put the butter in the still hot Dutch oven. It fizzled and promptly melted. I poured into over the popcorn and with caution and wooden spoons, the boys took turns mixing it all up while Finn and I took turns shaking the salt over it all. 

The boys quickly brought the chairs back to the table, and served themselves. We went into the room where Rick was resting to ask him if he wanted some. We got him a bowl and he came out to join us in our popcorn celebration. This small event yielding not just a wholesome, tasty treat but so much more. In all the ways. As Rick said afterwards, "This really brightened my day."

*Other things I want to remember from today:

• Salty, the squirrel shaped salt shaker (say that five times fast!)
• The 'haunted face' Finn made out of the kernels in the pan
• Franklie, the apple we made a scary face in earlier that Finn named
• Rowan with his first crawl on the bed (trying to get to the pop corn!)
• How truly happy we all were together, how all the current stress seemed to be lifted for the moment
• Chasing the pop corn down with the day's Grapefruit Orange Honey Switchel
• The boys telling me all the shapes and creatures the corn looked like (a mama octopus and bunnies to name a couple)
• How proud Finn was to be such a huge part of it
• How much we all really enjoyed it
• All the other things my heart knows but I'm having trouble putting into words

'Royal opened its iron door, and with the poker he broke the charred logs into a shimmering bed of coals. He put three handfuls of popcorn into the big wire popper, and shook the popper over the coals. In a little while a kernel popped, then another, then three or four at once, and all at once furiously the hundreds of little pointed kernels exploded.

When the big dishpan was heaping full of fluffy white popcorn. Alice poured melted butter over it, and stirred and salted it. It was hot and crackling crisp, and deliciously buttery and salty, and everyone could eat all he wanted to.'

 -- Farmer Boy, Laura Ingalls Wilder

 

Beginning again.

It has been a few years since I've visited this place. Much has changed, including our living situation, beginning homeschooling and the size of our family. We are now a family of six! Another significant change is this past July, it was found that Rick had a cancerous tumor in his brain. It would seem that his melanoma has returned and since that time he has brain surgery removing the tumor. He still needs to undergo radiation along with a course of action for the cancer found in his lung and liver. He is currently home with us, resting and being witness and a part of our crazy days at home. I have been filling our days over on my Instagram but if you are interested in hearing about this particular part of our lives, please read posts under the hashtag #littlewolveslove.

Lumberjack cookies

A few months ago, an old cookbook of my mom's resurfaced. Homemade Cookies by the Food Editors of Farm Journal, published in 1971. The intro of the book is titled 'Choice Homemade Cookies from Countryside America'. Lately, I've been seeking out older traditions, lifestyles and recipes to implement in our current modern life and was intrigued by the history of cookies in America. 

I came to a paragraph about cookies that once served a purpose but disappeared once the need was gone. I was instantly inspired by one example, the Boom cookie. As the book put it, 

' They were giant size—about 5" in diameter—molasses/coffee-flavored cookies, which hungry lumberjacks joyfully ate at the Boom in Minnesota, a sorting station when logs were floated down the St. Croix River.' The cook shack is now long gone and so is the circumstance and need for the cookies. The book does substitute with a recipe for smaller cookies that still provides the same taste of molasses, spices and instant coffee powder. 

I loved the idea of Boom cookies and their great size for a breakfast treat. One of the things I'm purposing this year is making easy to eat, to go breakfasts for my family. My husband wakes up insanely early for work and our weekends are usually busy with softball games and tournaments for my daughter. Sometimes it takes more time and money just for them/us to grab something to eat. I thought Boom cookies, or as I'm calling them, Lumberjack cookies would be a good idea to add to our eat quick breakfast list. 

Though the recipe is meant for smaller cookies, I still made them bigger than the average cookie I usually bake. I wanted them to be very much like the original cookie. The only substitutes I made was using regular molasses, almond milk instead of cow milk and pecans in place of walnuts. Everyone enjoyed them with the boy calling it 'cake'. Needless to say, I'll be making them again for my 'lumberjacks'. 😊

Fourth of July.

Independence Day is one of those holidays that took a long time to grow on me. Last year was the first time we celebrated it in our home town and this year we did the same. The morning started out with our neighborhood patriotic parade. I never knew I could be blessed by such a thing but it is so neat seeing neighbors, friends and children walking around, smiling, talking, riding bikes and skateboards, walking dogs and wearing red, white and blue.

Afterwards Nattie spent some time with friends while Finn and I came back home.  Rick worked the fireworks stand for Nat's softball organization but came home in time for all of us to spend time with friends who live on the other side of the school.

The kids went swimming (and the littles had their own pool. We ate, talked and when it was time, headed out for our street fireworks. It was simple and great, in every way.

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (Galatians 5:1 ESV)

Another year, another Summer

Today is her last day as a fourth grader. It marks the end of a school season and the beginning of the summer. I find myself realizing not just that my first born is rapidly growing but also we are still where we were last year. Has there been progress? How has our resolve been? It's a little hard admitting certain truths but also realizing that everything is really in His hands. That has not changed, nor will it ever. He has ordained all things in our life for His glory, His purpose. And for our good. 

I do find myself without a large sense of dread towards summer like I usually have and I count that as a blessing. I know the heat hasn't quite kicked in, or the quarrels between ten and two year old haven't occurred much yet. Hopefully it's growth in me, and growth in Him. I do look forward to the next few months because we are going to try our hand at a bit of Charlotte Mason style 'summer' homeschooling. Just a few things to give a bit of order to summer without overwhelming it or quelling it. Also as a way of preparing me if and when we do homeschool. A look into managing things and still trying to have fun and learn as a family.

It would seem like we still have a long way to go. I'm just hoping it's not as long of a wait as it seemed last year. I'm also hoping that my heart is continuing to change and grow. Not just mine but my family's as well. We need it. We need Jesus. We need each other. We need His promises. Everyday.

Here's to Summer and all that He brings with it!

Resolve and Gratitude.

Summer is nearing and the year is halfway done. This year has been pretty eventful in a few ways. Our sweet daughter turned ten after the new year with her younger brother turning two at the end of winter. Both birthdays were low key (with the exception of dyeing Nat's hair pink for the big 1-0), celebrating with local adventuring and homemade cakes. Last month Rick and I had a small getaway to Portland, Oregon which was practically perfect, much needed and insightful. Now as the school year approaches it end, we've already begun our summer softball activities with Nat making the all star silver team. Life has been a bit busy, physically but emotionally and spiritually as well. 

Looking at last summer, some things have change and others are still the same. We still have a family mission we are seeking to change and strengthen. Our family is changing but much of what's around us has not. My heart vascillates from faithfully hopeful to wearied and burden. There are so many wants and needs for us. They are not bad things to desire but for some reason, He hasn't seem fit to grant us these requests yet. 

The enemy is a liar and during my lows, he comes to steal away my happiness in Christ. I want to grieve and mourn not having these heart desires that I see so many of His children having and enjoying. It gets rough sometimes and the enemy uses these times to push me further in the mire. I feel isolated, alone, childish, incapable, stunted, the list goes on. The other day I just had to cut through it all and just ask The Lord for Him. To seek His Kingdom. And His joy.

I know I've been focusing on waiting for answered prayer. I know I've just been looking at our environment and our lack of blessings. What I haven't done is seek Him more faithfully and intentionally through prayer, but more importantly, through His word. And, I haven't been grateful. For what I do have. For those things that are good and true in my life. I haven't sought an attitude of gratitude. Without this, I haven't been able to encourage not only my own soul, but my husband's and my children's as well.

It's harder, seeking joy. You have to be intentional. It does not come naturally. I'm going to have to fight the urge, by the strength of the Holy Spirit, to not look and highlight the negative. Like Paul, I need to be selective of my perspective. When beginning the church in Philippi, he was beaten, humiliated, arrested, imprisoned, the list goes on. Yet when speaking to other believers, he says, “Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God” (Philippians 1:3 NLT). He chose to look at the good and to give thanks to God. 

There's so much that I need. What I need to remember most is my need for Him. I pray by His strength that I can faithfully do this and have an attitude of gratitude because of Him.

'Only fear the Lord and serve him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things he has done for you.' --1 Samuel 12:24 ESV

Blackberry Jam.

As I continue to grow as a woman, a wife, a mother, I find myself really wanting to dive deep into learning how to be resourceful. I know men and women have been resourceful for generations, knowing how to do things to survive and live. Being in an age of convenience and consumerism, it's easy to forget how people got by before. I love the idea of rediscovering how to use up things like a small case of mushy blackberries. Blackberries are a favorite here and I was excited to try my hand at a quick jam. I must say, it's the small things that get me and I really enjoyed mashing the berries in a bowl with my favorite wooden spoon. For a moment, it took my mind to another place, somewhere women would gather with their friends, children and get together to make good things. It encourages me to hunger for this. For the stories of those before me and for us, as a family, to make our own. The jam really didn't take long to make and as it cooled in a small mason jar, Natalie took plenty of taste tests of the foam I had set aside. She absolutely loved it and made my heart swell with gladness. It's these moments, you know.

 

Blackberry Jam

1 cup blackberries, mashed

1 cup granulated sugar

2 teaspoons lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon ground sage

In a small saucepan cook blackberries, sugar, lemon juice and sage on high heat for 5 minutes.  Reduce heat to medium and cook an additional 15 minutes. Skim the foam off and store jam in a heat-proof container. The jam will thicken as it cools.

Makes 4.5 oz.

Note: I like my jam with the seeds in it but if you prefer it seedless, strain the berries in a meshed sieve before cooking.

(Recipe adapted from Savory Sweet Life)

This morning my girl and I enjoyed the jam on top of toasted sourdough bread. Afterwards, for a small second breakfast, I had it on a breakfast biscuit with tea. Now I need to start baking no knead bread again and add learning how to make sourdough on my list of things to do. 'Tis the good life, right? :)

Andrea